Introduction to Dating Analytics

In my 20s, I was focused on being single and mingling. No commitment. No relationships. I just wanted to meet new women and go on fun dates. And that I did. However, I noticed my dating life went in cycles: Hot and Cold. There would be periods where I was hanging out and meeting women in droves (Hot cycle) and there would be periods where I had zero success going out (Cold cycle).

When I had a lot of dating success, I was going out with a woman at least once a week. I would spend time with these women talking on the phone, and going to the movies, new restaurants, amusement parks, etc. I was also typically meeting one new woman a month online, at church, at the grocery store, and other places. Alternatively, when my dating life was cold, it could be ice cold. I would go months without a date, despite my best efforts. No new women were interested in going out either. It was the worst of times.

Before you call me a player and some horrible names, let me explain why I liked going on dates: I enjoyed the company of a woman. A woman's communication and emotional expression was so deep and rich. New worlds were opened to me on each date. A woman's words (and her beauty) were more desirable to me than any high priced meal, good entertainment or physical connection.

And speaking of physical connection, I had three main rules: 1) No sex, 2) No sexually charged touching, and 3) No physical touch such as kissing or holding hands. These rules would prevent me from leading someone on and getting emotionally connected. I successfully avoided breaking rules #1 and #2. Rule #3 got broken from time to time and I always regretted it. Those situations are for another blog. Also, I wasn't ready to settle down and saw no point of getting into a relationship. I was upfront with each woman on where I stood along with sharing my "rules." I mostly attracted women that were also dating a bunch of men.

Over time I discovered a trend in my dating life:

- My Hot dating periods lasted from 3 to 6 months on average.
- My subsequent Cold dating periods lasted 6 to 9 months on average.

When I got into my 30s and more marriage minded, I knew I had to exploit this trend. My Cold cycle was getting longer once I left my 20s; it was upwards of 12 months. So when I hit my Hot dating cycle the summer of 2007 I knew I had to focus hard on finding a wife or risk another Cold cycle and the possibility of it getting longer.

That summer was the Hottest Hot cycle in my life (again this topic would make a great blog). I ultimately picked one woman from a group of women I had met (not without some drama). That woman is my current wife. We now have three kids and have enjoyed life together.

Key Takeaway: Observe the trends in your dating life. I tracked mine in an excel spreadsheet. 😂 Such tracking could yield insights that could help you find a good relationship or marriage partner!